The Word You're Looking For...

... Is "Anyway..."

By way of explanation, the blog title/email address comes from the first episode of Friends

MONICA: C'mon, you can't live off your parents your
whole life.

RACHEL: I know that. That's why I was getting married.

PHOEBE: Give her a break, it's hard being on your own
for the first time.

RACHEL: Thank you.

PHOEBE: You're welcome. I remember when I first came
to the city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed
herself and my step-dad was back in prison... I got
here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living
with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windows
outside port authority, and then he killed himself,
and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know
exactly how you feel.

(A PAUSE)

ROSS: The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'...

There are a few reasons I'm so fond of the last line of this dialog. I think it is hilarious, and of course it encapsulates the reasons that Phoebe's character is so charming. I also like it because I identify with it. (And by extension, I suppose, with Phoebe herself.) I find myself saying, "...anyway..." on a regular basis because I am so prone to going off on tangents and making non sequitur comments (even when writing). Chances are that most of the things I am likely to post will not follow any identifiable logical pattern. I'm just like that. ;)

Lastly... I find myself wanting to shout this line at teenagers who say "anyways" or "anywho." Heaven knows I make my share of errors (some of which, I am a bit shamed to admit, are intentional) and I misuse the English language as atrociously as the next person, but for some reason I am particularly bothered by the non-word "anyways." If you are a linguist, please don't post a comment to remind us all that the English language is fluid and constantly changing, that usage evolves, that all words are in a state of flux and that the horrid "anyways" may well take over and someday leaving the 's' off the end of the word will be classified by dictionaries as archaic/colloquial. Let me save you time, my linguist friends. Don't post that comment, and don't write that email. I don't want to hear it.

No, my child. That is not a word. The word you're looking for is 'Anyway.'